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Old Ares Had A Farm
Xena Gab Ares Old
Xena, Gabrielle and Ares are forced to share a bed
Overview
Series Xena: Warrior Princess
Season 6
Antagonist Gasgar
Setting Greece
In-Universe Date Year 32
Production
Production # V1414
Filming Dates September 2000
Original Air-Date 15 January 2001
Story By Steven L. Sears
Teleplay By R.J. Stewart
Directed By Charles Siebert
Episode Chronology
Order in Series 122 of 134
Order in Season 10 of 22
Order in Franchise 291 of 304
Previous Episode in Series "Return of the Valkyrie"
Next Episode in Series "Dangerous Prey"
Previous Episode in Franchise "Return of the Valkyrie"
Next Episode in Franchise "Dangerous Prey"
Title Image
OldAresHadaFarmtitlecard

To protect Ares from a gang of revenge-seeking warlords, Xena brings him to her childhood home and disguises him as a farmer.

SummaryEdit

OAHAF 01

Xena and Gabrielle rescue Ares from thugs

At a local tavern, Xena approaches a table of cutthroats and puts the pinch on Allus, who admits that warlords from many regions are uniting under Gasgar to kill Ares now that they've learned he is mortal. When Xena and Gabrielle catch up with Ares, he is being challenged by Siki, a young warrior wannabe who quickly retreats when they arrive. Xena tells Ares he's in danger and offers to help him assume a new identity as a farmer.

OAHAF Exploringthefarminside

Xena explores her old childhood farm.

At first, appalled by the notion, Ares finally admits he's tired of fighting every ambitious warrior who comes along. Xena and Gabrielle escort him to the farmhouse where Xena was raised, promising to stay until he is settled. As she surveys her beloved but rundown childhood home, Xena recalls wonderful memories. Ares, on the other hand, is aghast at the dilapidated condition of the farmhouse and resists when Xena and Gabrielle try to enlist him in the cleanup.

610 02

Ares is surprised by Xena's farming skills

Back at the tavern, Gasgar decides to dispatch his army when young Siki reveals that he followed Ares and two women to the Lacoon Valley. Meanwhile, while Xena, Gabrielle, and Ares work, some things start to disappear, like Gabrielle's boots and some rags. Then, they get word from a concerned neighbor named Greba that Gasgar's army is headed their way. Xena immediately sets off to intercept him. When Xena enters Gasgar's tent, she claims she has come to present him with Ares' head on a platter. Gasgar insists he doesn't need her help but becomes interested when Xena tells him she knows where Ares is.

Oldares 06

Xena and Gabrielle farming animals

Xena is delighted that the chimney is cleaned and a fire is burning. She says she and her brothers sat by the fire and told ghost stories. She says she misses her brothers sometimes. Ares says that the thief is still there and lists some other items that are now missing besides rags and boots, like his gauntlet. Gabrielle says maybe the thief is a ghost.

OAHAF Arestalksaboutmotherhoodevents

Ares explains why he saved Gabrielle and Eve in Motherhood.

That night, a very leaky roof forces Xena, Ares, and Gabrielle to share the same bed in Xena's old room. Ares looks in and sees one big bed. He suggests they all three sleep in the bed. Xena and Gabrielle look skeptical but then decide they are all grown-ups. Xena and Ares spoon and spar in the bed, change positions, Gabrielle rolls over and puts her hand over Ares' crotch. Xena removes Gabrielle's hand. Ares says he is in Tartarus.

ImgAresGOW2

Mortal Ares bears all

The next morning, Ares is awakened by the sounds of Xena searching for her missing breastplate, which has also mysteriously disappeared. Walking around the house, they find most of their stuff (save for Ares's gauntlet) buried underground. They soon learn that the "thief" is a spirited little dog, Horace, who takes an immediate liking to Ares.

Xena and Gabrielle go to get some supplies while Ares works on the roof. While working, he begins flirting with the attractive young widow Greba and even endures some backbreaking work to try to impress her. But his ego soon suffers a stunning blow when Greba rejects his advances, confessing that she views him as a much older man. As he goes back up to the roof, he falls through. Xena comes back as he relents the farm work. Just as Ares is about to flee the farm, Gabrielle shows up with a wagon full of supplies and animals.

OAHAF 03

Ares fails to kill a chicken

When Xena sends Ares outside to kill a chicken for dinner, she spots Gasgar's army in the distance. Rushing into the farmyard carrying a farmer's hat and clothes, she explains that she purposely lured Gasgar's army to the farm so they could be fooled by Ares' farmer disguise and diverted away from him permanently.

OAHAF gabriellecountrygirl

Gabrielle dressed as a country wench.

When Gasgar's lieutenant Demetrius arrives at the farmhouse, Gabrielle answers the door dressed as a country wench and flirts shamelessly with him until Ares reprimands her. When a defiant Ares, disguised in a farmer's costume, refuses to answer Demetrius' questions, Demetrius kicks him in the gut and even begins to suspect that this farmer may be Ares. But Xena arrives just in time to insist that Ares is a much younger man. Demetrius demands that Xena put the pinch on Farmer Ares until he talks.

Farmgroup

Xena, Gabrielle and Ares see Horace reunite with its owner.

Finally, according to his pre-arranged plan with Xena, Farmer Ares tells Demetrius that Ares was at the farm, but is now headed for the Harada pass. Satisfied, both Xena and Demetrius leave. Xena returns quickly and reports that Gasgar's army is leaving the valley. Later that day, a traveling salesman, Dempar shows up to claim his dog. Having grown very fond of Horace, Ares is crushed when he's taken away.

610 03

Xena and Gabrielle pretend to fight to foil Gasgar

In an unexpected turn of events, Gasgar comes upon Dempar's roadside stand where he notices the dog Horace playing with Ares' gauntlet. After questioning Dempar about where the dog found the leather garment, Gasgar and his army make a beeline back to Xena's farm. By this time, Xena and her companions realize that Horace must have taken the gauntlet and soon Greba rides up to inform them that Gasgar is on his way. Devising another plan, Xena sets out to intercept Gasgar once more. When the warlord demands to know why she's protecting Ares, an angry Gabrielle rushes in and pretending to be wildly jealous that Xena has fallen in love with Ares, informs Gasgar that Ares is headed to catch a ship to Anatolia. As the two women begin a "vicious" staged fight, the unsuspecting Gaspar heads off in search of Ares, once again in the wrong direction.

OAHAF 02

Ares decides to stay on the farm

Later that day, Xena and Gabrielle return to the farm with Horace, whose owner has been convinced that the dog will be better off there, They say the warlords have gone to the cave where some eight-headed monster lives and won't be back. Xena tells Ares he should try to be a farmer. He says when the chickens are all dead he will leave. Xena says if he stays as a farmer, she might come to see him. Ares goes to kiss Xena but she moves. Xena and Gabrielle bid farewell to Ares and ride off. Xena tells Gabrielle she learned that she can't look for peace in the world around you, you find it in your own heart. She says she was lucky when she was little and she's lucky now. Gabrielle agrees with Xena.


DisclaimerEdit

"Ares went to the dogs in the making of this motion picture "

Background InformationEdit

Behind the ScenesEdit

Key EventsEdit

GoofsEdit

  • So much for the "I have cut off the blood to your brain and you have 30 seconds to talk or you will die a painful death". in the opening of the episode, the guy in the tavern gets the pinch, Xena and Gabrielle go into battle and it looked like a lot longer than 30 seconds...but Xena gets to him just in time to get the information she wants and lets him live.
  • In the scene where Ares first finds Jake, you can see that he has food on his chest to make the dog seem more affectionate.

TriviaEdit

  • Chakram Count: 1
  1. To get Jake down from the horse.
  • The dagger Xena uses to strike on the map while talking to Gasgar is the same dagger as the one in the episode, "The Convert", that Joxer accidentally killed Kryton with.

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