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Here She Comes... Miss Amphipolis

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Here She Comes...
Miss Amphipolis
Miss Amphiolis
Xena is Miss Amphipolis
Overview
Series Xena: Warrior Princess
Season 2
Setting Greece
Production
Original Air-Date January 20th, 1997
Written By Chris Manheim
Directed By Marina Sargent
Episode Chronology
Order in Series 035
Order in Season 11
Previous Episode The Xena Scrolls
Next Episode Destiny
Title Image
Here She Comes TITLE

Salmoneus puts on a beauty pageant, only to discover that someone on the inside is trying to sabotage it, by killing off the other contestants. He calls in Xena and Gabrielle to help and suggests that Xena should pose as a beauty contestant, "Miss Amphipolis."

SummaryEdit

Salmoneus urgently summons Xena and Gabrielle to ask for help in keeping the peace in the kingdom where he has been organizing the Miss Known World Beauty Pageant. It seems that the Doge of Messini, the Regent of Skiros and the Palatine of Parnassus, area leaders who signed a peace treaty a year earlier, have all entered their girlfriends in the contest and since then, props have been wrecked, costumes ripped, and the girls attacked by low-life thugs.

Though she initially puts down the girls as "underdressed, overdevelopepd bimbos" and is at first angered with Salmoneus for having apparently deceived her and Gabrielle, Xena suspects that someone is trying to stir up trouble among the three men by using their girlfriends and agrees to go undercover as Miss Amphipolis to find out what is going on there. Gabrielle decides to masquerade as her sponsor, the Marquessa.

GabrielleSalmoneus

Gabrielle and Salmoneus

Almost immediately, Xena rescues Miss Messini from being skewered by the arrow of a crossbow, rigged to kill her the moment she plays her harp. The warrior princess then leaves to work up her disguise, while Gabrielle takes off to get to know the other sponsors. Upon hearing about the latest close call, the three leaders visit the pageant sponsor Lord Clairon to protest.

Meanwhile Xena, turbaned and towel-draped, slips into the steam room with Miss Messini, Miss Parnassus and the ruthless Miss Skiros to pick up some gossip. When her companions leave, Xena finds she has been locked in the room and is forced to escape through an air vent. The incident nearly prevents her from participating in the first of three mandatory events for all the contestants. Xena finally arrives on the runway, transformed into a leggy blonde bombshell.

When she later searches for the culprit who locked her in the steam room, the trail leads to Miss Artiphys, who turns out was not born a woman. When Miss Artiphys explains that it was fear of discovery that made her try to scare Xena, Xena surprises her by promising not to reveal her secret.

The three leaders angrily confront each other again when Miss Parnassus's ventriloquist's dummy is broken to bits. The Palatine threatens to bring in troops if any more trouble occurs. As Salmoneus runs himself ragged trying to teach the contestants a production number, the Palatine makes a pass at Xena, who sharply cuts him off.

As Xena makes her way down the runway in a sexy cutaway gown, the Palatine shouts out Xena's real identity to the crowd. Luckily for Xena, Miss Artiphys appears wearing Xena's armor, declaring if Miss Amphipolis is a princess, then she is a queen. The sponsors are fooled, thinking the Palatine must have gotten a glimpse of Miss Artiphys's "costume."

Xena moves into the talent portion of the pageant along with Miss Artiphys and the girlfriends of the three leaders. When Miss Skiros begins her snake-charming act, Xena saves her from being killed by a sabotaged falling beam. The saboteur turns out to be Lord Clairon, who has profited handsomely in wars of the past and is hoping to provoke conflict again.

Xenamissamphipolis

Xena as Miss Amphipolis

When Xena tricks him into confessing within earshot of the leaders, he attacks her, but Xena quickly disarms and defeats him. The warrior princess, having solved the mystery, also manages to help the other finalists regain their dignity -- they withdraw from the competition, feeling they no longer need it. In the end, all send up a rousing cheer as Miss Artiphys is crowned Miss Known World.

DisclaimerEdit

In loving memory of Keith K. Walsh.

Background InformationEdit

  • Last appearance of Salmoneus on this series, though he would continue to make appearances on HTLJ.
  • It is not clear if Miss Artiphys is meant to be a cross-dresser, a transgender woman, or a hermaphrodite (a twin-sexed demigod descended from a union between Hermes and Aphrodite). Given the series' general setting, it is possible she is meant to be a mythological hermaphrodite, though it might be simpler to assume she is a transgender person.
  • All of the titles used by the sponsors originate in the later Roman Empire and are anachronistic. Gabrielle's assumed title originates in the Middle Ages.
  • Although Miss Amphipolis's hair is similar to Lucy Lawless's natural color, Lucy must have worn a wig for this episode, as her own hair was colored black during XWP's entire run. 
  • This episode features one of the scenes which ultimately led to the original debates on the subtext: when Miss Artiphys smooches Xena at the end, Gabrielle looks somewhat uncomfortable, even jealous, according to some commentators. 

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